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  • #31
    That certainly belongs in the "bad jokes".
    But as a hearing impaired person I give you double thanks!

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    • #32
      Well in that case just be happy you aren't blind as Stevie Wonder yet.

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      • #33
        I saw in the paper the other day where Stevie Wonder, at age 64, is expecting triplets with his 40 year old girlfriend. Will be a total of 11 kids by 5 different women for Stevie.
        He may be blind, but he knows where to find what's important!

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        • #34
          Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor. He performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt. Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay. Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the world're ya doing, Billy Bob?" "Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob. "But me 'n the wife been havin' trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."

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          • #35
            Originally posted by rrbob View Post
            I saw in the paper the other day where Stevie Wonder, at age 64, is expecting triplets with his 40 year old girlfriend. Will be a total of 11 kids by 5 different women for Stevie.
            He may be blind, but he knows where to find what's important!
            Triplets?...... I bet he didn't see that coming.

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            • #36
              A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. The guy asks, "What's this about?" The bartender replies, "Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone's drinks for the next hour. You wanna do it?" The guy replies, "Nah, the steaks are too high."

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              • #37
                Oh my.

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by rrbob View Post
                  I saw in the paper the other day where Stevie Wonder, at age 64, is expecting triplets with his 40 year old girlfriend. Will be a total of 11 kids by 5 different women for Stevie.
                  He may be blind, but he knows where to find what's important!
                  And must not fire any blanks. Or had some help from the roadies.

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                  • #39
                    A father and his 13 year old son walk into the pharmacy. The son sees the boxes of condoms and asks: "What are these dad?" And the father answers truthfully: "These, my boy, are called condoms. Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh.. i see! the boy answers. They shown them to us at school, in the sex education class." Then the boy looks at a packet with 3 condoms in it and asks: "Why does this one have only 3 in it dad?" "This, son is for high-school kids: One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday." Then the boy looks at another packet that has 6 inside. "What about this one? Why does it have 6 in?" "This is for college students: Two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday." Then the kid sees that packet with 12 inside and with great wonder asks: "And this one dad, with 12 inside?" His father sighs and explains to him: "These my boy, are for married people. One for January, one for February…"

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                    • #40
                      A man and woman were married for many years. Whenever they had an argument, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

                      The neighbors feared him. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. Then one evening he died. After the funeral, the neighbors asked his wife if she was concerned for her safety. They asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"

                      The wife said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down.....and I know damn well he won't ask for directions."
                      "A guy can't just sit around." Lawnchair Larry

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                      • #41
                        Two priests are out driving one day when they get pulled over by a police officer. The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver “Sorry to pull you over father, but we’re looking for a couple of child molesters” The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says; “Alright officer, we’ll do it”

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                        • #42
                          What do Eskimos and zip lock bags have in common?

                          They both love a tight seal.
                          She offered her honor, so I honored her offer...so all night long I was on her and off her.

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                          • #43
                            Did you hear about the guy who's a dyslexic-bulimic?

                            He eats, and then he sticks his finger up his ass.

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